Cloudy Heads and Retail Dreams

Oh the stuff that is in my head, I feel all filled with soggy cotton!

In other news, I have had my wondrous boyfriend for over an entire year now. I could list all the ways that he is magnificent and absolutely the best guy, but that would take forever and so much typing that you would soon be sick of reading about how fabulous he is.

Suffice it to say, my boyfriend ROCKS!

Honestly, I'm writing right now because I am not home, but my art supplies are. I would like to make some artwork today, it has been months since I drew/painted anything worthwhile. Artistically, I feel a bit in the dumps. I have spent many hours of many days of many weeks on the hunt for an elusive job, so I am doing things with my time to be considered worthwhile... It's just not so satisfying. Also, feeling all bloosy about not having a job is not the best inspiration for creating art.

I understand creativity thriving in chaos and the tortured soul of the artist being inspired by all sorts of things going wrong in their life... The thing is, everything's just right enough to not move me toward any great work. Yes, I have no full-time, part-time job... But I get the occasional modeling gig, Go-Go dancing gig or treasure hunt. So, I have just enough. Feels like just enough to keep me in limbo and yet not enough to thrive...

I also understand I am probably whining all this out into inter-space because I am sick and feel like poopy. Super poopy.

S'okay. Maybe Bose will call me today and tell me I got the job selling kick-ass speakers... Or I'll get a ring from that super-cool toy store on Hawthorne and get to work there. I dream of a part-time retail job where I get to work with happy people. I want to merchandise, organize and count the drawer at the end of the day. I want to help people buy not entirely useful things and bring smiles to their faces. I am a retail goddess... put me to work!

(meanwhile, I will be sick today and hopefully paint something pretty)

Smells Like Change

I smell it in the air, a deep earthy base wafting through shades of spring green, ever luminent in inevitable springtime glee. A change is comin’ a Big ol’ whirlin sorta change that blows the dust out from under the rug, the kinda change could make a person think. Well hell, I’m thinkin’ already. Thinkin’ on just how much change could fill such a big distance as I see agapin’ right in front of me.
I stand in front of an empty horizon, armed with my creativity, intelligence and most importantly love. I’ve got enough love to fill that canyon right ahead, fill it to overflowing into starshine, I will… Agape. A love so big that you feel it for everything because your so grateful just to be here, in this moment, the one that matters….
Because all moments matter and I found my cajones. They were a little harder for me to locate than others, I reckon. Seein as how I’m part of the sweeter sex of womanfolk who were blessed by sweet God with peepee on the inside. Back down south in the soul slingin’ Sonoran desert, cajones is what you pacnorth people call balls. Gumption.

Well, I’m not afraid of fallin’ anymore ’cause I think I’ve just about hit the bottom enough in my life to have developed one tough ass. And this ass is not going to not do something because she’s afraid it won’t work. Or worse, that it will. I strapped my carpenter’s hammer on the other day and after spending a lot of time tearin’ shit down, I’m gonna build something. I’m going to build something true and beautiful and happy, I’m gonna build myself a life.
I’m workin’ on doin’ what I’ve been talkin’ about for years now. Doin’ something I love all the way down to my bleached red in the desert sun bones- I’m gonna get myself an art show…. tee hee heeeeee! I’m goin’ on auditions. I got myself two photoshoots comin’ up. I’m part of a performing comedy troupe (Cosmic Lee’s Intergalactic Traveling Show) and I got me an open mic night (Bar XV every monday).
My well-defined nose is positioned way up in the air to sniff me out some opportunity and not because I’ve got rent to pay (ouch) but because I just want to do what I do well. I want to utilize the gifts the maker gave me to fill the space in this world that’s waitin’ just for me. I’ve been workin’ on it for 25 years now and those colored pencils were fun and all, but I’m bringing out the acrylics to now… So I can finally have something to share with the world and all those brilliant people that I’m fortunate enough to have met and love so much!