Cloudy Heads and Retail Dreams

Oh the stuff that is in my head, I feel all filled with soggy cotton!

In other news, I have had my wondrous boyfriend for over an entire year now. I could list all the ways that he is magnificent and absolutely the best guy, but that would take forever and so much typing that you would soon be sick of reading about how fabulous he is.

Suffice it to say, my boyfriend ROCKS!

Honestly, I'm writing right now because I am not home, but my art supplies are. I would like to make some artwork today, it has been months since I drew/painted anything worthwhile. Artistically, I feel a bit in the dumps. I have spent many hours of many days of many weeks on the hunt for an elusive job, so I am doing things with my time to be considered worthwhile... It's just not so satisfying. Also, feeling all bloosy about not having a job is not the best inspiration for creating art.

I understand creativity thriving in chaos and the tortured soul of the artist being inspired by all sorts of things going wrong in their life... The thing is, everything's just right enough to not move me toward any great work. Yes, I have no full-time, part-time job... But I get the occasional modeling gig, Go-Go dancing gig or treasure hunt. So, I have just enough. Feels like just enough to keep me in limbo and yet not enough to thrive...

I also understand I am probably whining all this out into inter-space because I am sick and feel like poopy. Super poopy.

S'okay. Maybe Bose will call me today and tell me I got the job selling kick-ass speakers... Or I'll get a ring from that super-cool toy store on Hawthorne and get to work there. I dream of a part-time retail job where I get to work with happy people. I want to merchandise, organize and count the drawer at the end of the day. I want to help people buy not entirely useful things and bring smiles to their faces. I am a retail goddess... put me to work!

(meanwhile, I will be sick today and hopefully paint something pretty)

To be Home Again, So Soft in my Bed

06.25.09

I arrived in Eugene the morning before last, driven down from Portland by a gregarious photographer named, Van. Seemingly appropriate, I appropriated a ride from Van on Craigslist… gotta love that rideshare. We talked the two hours down in amicable discussion and am pleased to report that I got my first paid photo-shoot ever… Thanks Van!

We turned onto Nectar Way, pulled into a long driveway and met Mr. Michel Savage of Grey Forest– who has requisitioned me to model for this Sci-Fi project he’s working on called, Hellbot. His studio is cozy, the grounds are green forests and I almost expect to see precocious little faeriebugs peeking above every leaf and zipping through the branches. I was rather apprehensive about posing nude so he could transform me into some faerie or other, but relaxed into the process… kinda? I believe I’ll be either a red pixie sprite or some sort of dryad by the time I’m done. I felt a little awkward posing, not that I’m all that self-conscious or anything… It’s just that I went to a tanning booth to even out my tan lines for the shoot…
The first time went fine, everything was a little smoother. The second time (two days later) wasn’t so fortunate, I came out of the booth pleased with my 14 minutes of radiant meditation, pleased as pink to be traveling the next day for a photoshoot… Until I sat down a couple hours later and realized that my bum was a little ouch. One glance in the mirror revealed a bottom as rosy red as a baboons’ ass! It looked like I’d been a very naughty girl and someone had spanked me magenta with a large paddle… Not so great for the happy frolicking faerie.
That was my inspiration for a fire pixie, I thought maybe he can just turn all of me red; a crimson pixie with a pissed off attitude who is in no mood for more spankings! After photoshoot (he’ll “paint” them later, the pictures are for reference) and dinner, we took a dip in the hot-tub which further (momentarily) inflamed my already bright buttocks. We watched, Silent Hill which was an interesting horror movie, I found out from my friend, Alain the next day that it was adapted from a video game.

In the morning I had a bagel, soaked in the hot-tub and got some more reading done. I’m reading Atlas Shrugged and I’m not sure that it’s nearly as bad as my best friend thinks it is, but we’re all entitled to our own opinions. On the other hand, I am not yet half-way through, so there is plenty of time for me to become frustrated to the point of pelting the book across the room when I finish (like Tabitha).
Day two involved shooting for the Sci-Fi project he’s working on called, Hellbot. It’s about some scavenger chick flying through the universe in the hunk o’ junk spaceship her daddy gave her. She hears rumors of a belly-up settlement planet who’s terraforming went berserk and turned the whole thing to dust… er… sand, like Arrakis, Tattoine, the Sahara… desert. So she hops out of her ship and goes searching for sweet, sweet H2O.
Through unfortunate circumstance she’s knocked out and left stranded in the middle of the desert, far away from her ship and without her guns, or any scrap of clothing. Our naked heroine journeys across the sand-dunes, finds an abandoned building and a scrap of fabric that she secures around her person, meets a friendly droid and sees some weird shit… To be continued.
So, the goal here was getting some epic shots that he can later super-impose against a desert background and make me look all bad-ass sci-fi babe looking for a little clothed comfort.

I ate salad, watched some Jim Henson’s Storyteller stories and generally chilled out the rest of the day, in anticipation of getting to see some sweet pictures once they’re all colored-me-pretty. Now we’re off to do a little photoshoot for a local jeweler in Eugene, meet up with my ride and head on out!

by: Michel Savage

In closing, I would like to state that I miss my boyfriend more than I thought I would and am super-stoked to see him again on Sunday night so we can cuddle up all sweet and happy… mmmmmm happy cuddletime!
Also, I kinda miss the little doggy pooches with whom I live. Oscar and Willie may be very silly dogs, but they are sweet and I would very much like to take them on a long walk.

Smells Like Change

I smell it in the air, a deep earthy base wafting through shades of spring green, ever luminent in inevitable springtime glee. A change is comin’ a Big ol’ whirlin sorta change that blows the dust out from under the rug, the kinda change could make a person think. Well hell, I’m thinkin’ already. Thinkin’ on just how much change could fill such a big distance as I see agapin’ right in front of me.
I stand in front of an empty horizon, armed with my creativity, intelligence and most importantly love. I’ve got enough love to fill that canyon right ahead, fill it to overflowing into starshine, I will… Agape. A love so big that you feel it for everything because your so grateful just to be here, in this moment, the one that matters….
Because all moments matter and I found my cajones. They were a little harder for me to locate than others, I reckon. Seein as how I’m part of the sweeter sex of womanfolk who were blessed by sweet God with peepee on the inside. Back down south in the soul slingin’ Sonoran desert, cajones is what you pacnorth people call balls. Gumption.

Well, I’m not afraid of fallin’ anymore ’cause I think I’ve just about hit the bottom enough in my life to have developed one tough ass. And this ass is not going to not do something because she’s afraid it won’t work. Or worse, that it will. I strapped my carpenter’s hammer on the other day and after spending a lot of time tearin’ shit down, I’m gonna build something. I’m going to build something true and beautiful and happy, I’m gonna build myself a life.
I’m workin’ on doin’ what I’ve been talkin’ about for years now. Doin’ something I love all the way down to my bleached red in the desert sun bones- I’m gonna get myself an art show…. tee hee heeeeee! I’m goin’ on auditions. I got myself two photoshoots comin’ up. I’m part of a performing comedy troupe (Cosmic Lee’s Intergalactic Traveling Show) and I got me an open mic night (Bar XV every monday).
My well-defined nose is positioned way up in the air to sniff me out some opportunity and not because I’ve got rent to pay (ouch) but because I just want to do what I do well. I want to utilize the gifts the maker gave me to fill the space in this world that’s waitin’ just for me. I’ve been workin’ on it for 25 years now and those colored pencils were fun and all, but I’m bringing out the acrylics to now… So I can finally have something to share with the world and all those brilliant people that I’m fortunate enough to have met and love so much!