Note: This is the description that popped up, Throbbing Insertion- Spears of love pains of dripping peace" I was really scared it might turn out to be pornography, nonetheless, I was intrigued.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
WOW! alright, so I figured out how to hook my laptop up to the huge HD tv in my living room (it's my roommate's) and I'm house-sitting the two Westies (who are the doggy reason I pay not so much in rent). They're very cute and kind of a handful so I decided to find them some Doggy Movies to watch while I do some cooking. Not finding any, I decided to put, Babe on for the pooches- you know, that movie about the pig who herds all the sheep. I open up the youtube and type "Babe part 1" and this pops up. It's so freakin' weird that it's almost cool...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
bliss.giggles.sweetly
Bliss can overflow from one to another
tickling noses and pin-pricking.
Bliss laughs it's way around a room
making giddy little knots all over
that can only ever be giggled,
stretched, hugged or smooched out.
Bliss can lead you astray from dogged
drudgery painting a path in your life.
Bliss waits for no-one and beckons
by tugging your shirt-collar incessantly
pulling toward your inner magnificence,
bright, shiny, and full of dreams.
Bliss wants what's best for the world
and what's best for the earth is you.
bliss knows best and bliss knows true
the deepest and holiest place inside
that beats fiercely for happiness,
comfort, hope and life; follow it.
innocent.simplicity
04.13.09
I do get tongue-tied
trying to use few words boldly
to convey a sense greater
than the blue in your eyes.
But they trip me, you see
into dreams I don't remember
huddled in the warmest car
with snowflakes on the windowpane.
I have naught but pen
and paper whiter than teeth
with which to coax this hand of mine
out of it's uncooperative ease.
To dabble in between lines
that intimidate my eyes
eyes brown as deep earth
gazing ever-upward heaven-bound.
I find myself hard-pressed
to define a disney blue
who confuddles my thoughts
into innocent simplicity.
Bare-breasted naiivety
was once my closest friend
until I sold her for walls
walls I tore down vice for vice
to come back to myself again..
We are all caught up!
I have just spent the past 2 or 3 hours posting/copy/pasting/inserting my blogs from my old blog at wordpress.com into this spiffy, new blog here at blogger.
Note: I did not copy/paste my old old blog from myspace, but you can find it here- http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=40383455
my myspacey page was about 3 years of cataloging my life, funny that it'd already be thrown in the ancient pile along with dial-up internet and skorts... No love for the skorts, by the way. Do you even remember those? UGH! They all looked like a super-short skirt until the chick turns around and you realize she's just wearing shorts with some flap over the front. BOO!
Real skirts with shorts sewn inside, on the other hand, are a lot of fun!
As I was saying... BLOG. My ever broken-up, half-assed, sometimes I write- sometimes I don't, but still consistently THERE blog is now here.
Oh dearest google, I pray fervently that blogger will be kind and that we will get along so well like friends; that your formatting is easy and beautiful and most importantly... that it does not fuck up my line breaks in the poems I write.
That's why I broke up with wordpress, it kept fucking with my formatting and my Poems and I could not abide. Poems need specific line-breaks in order to better convey the rhythm of the piece. Now that I've said my piece, I'm done.
Ooooh... and for those few peeps who've been following my blogs and never knew my name outside of botticellibelle, I have very bad news... I just googled botticellibelle (which has been my and solely MY penname for about 10 years now) and there's some other chick on blogger with my name. BOO! She seems all sweet and whatnot, but I am still pissy because this was my name first. There is Chopin on her blog, and she has not written a single thing since December of 2008, when she only started in September... And I thought I was lazy... Geez!
On the bright side, at least she has good taste!
Anyhoo, Hi! my name is Nitya Prem and this is where my blog is.
Over.Earth.Under.Sky
The ceiling in the elevator to my cave in the sky... my old studio above Berbati's Pan
09.26.09
I write of love that was deeper than the space between stars
and as unreachable.
White hot and luminescent, glittering eternally
too bright to hold.
Still, it was my guiding light, my constant joy and sorrow
kept so close.
A bird pressed to firm against a beating heart, even in love
will die.
I lover held too tight must stretch, lest they claw your heart
from your chest.
I've felt the rip of too many bleeding beats keeping time
as daggers.
I've patched up one too many tears from leaking tears
in my footsteps.
My swan's song carried me far below the crashing waves
to rest.
I dwelt in secret hope and hushed fear to see the sun again
and kept to shadow
To the dark went my desires, my pulsing love and fervency
I slept so long.
Golden rays danced upon my skin one day to love again
and pray.
Bright as it is enticing to jump from the earth to heaven
up high.
I braced myself and let the sky smile from above
to me below.
We met somewhere on the horizon between here and there
dusk and dawn.
And I will swim with you over the earth and under sky
to everywhere in between.
A Friendly Wager...
09.25.09
I currently have a bet going on amongst 9 of my friends and I. It was my boyfriend’s idea and after discussing it with our compatriots at the Night Light (one of our favorite hang outs in Portland) we ironed out all the little details and settled on this:
Each of us is to pick what we think is the very worst movie we can find. So as to avoid things like 6 hour student films following the life of microbes, we limited it to movies that can be found inside a Blockbuster store- not online, a physical store, in the Portland area.
Each participant bets a whole ten dollars on their movie, the lucky winner gets a whopping jackpot of $100!
One might ask, what defines the worst movie? Obviously not any B (or even C) horror films like Bog Creatures, these have proven entertainment value- at least you can laugh at them, right? We’re talking about true mediocrity here, the movies that put you right to sleep (although, that could be a good thing if you’re an insomniac), the movies that make you shrug your shoulders in cold, cold indifference that make you think, “Who is responsible for this piece of shit, this complete waste of resources? I’d rather stare at my popcorn ceiling for two hours than ever again watch this tripe!” That kind of movie.
The next problem was, how to watch so many horrible movies without becoming biased? We figured we’d first give everyone two weeks to pick their movie, during which time, nobody is allowed to discuss their choice. Afterward, we’ll get together and watch two movies a week over the next five weeks. That way, we don’t have to watch more than one monstrosity a night. After we watch each movie, we’ll vote independently. No-one is allowed to vote for the film they selected.
At the end of the very last movie, we’ll all probably get together, view the results and get some drinks.
Also, we’ll be rating each one on a 1-10 scale.
This evening I watched Kevin Costner’s truly epic movie, The Postman, for the very first time. Honestly, there were a couple moments when I seriously considered picking it as my entry into our friendly little bet. Unfortunately, we’d probably have too good a time making fun of it, thus nixing it from my list of possibilities… Ce’st la vie!
bad.seeds
09.22.09
Right-O.
There are some people, that no matter how much you love them, disappoint you every time. I try and try so hard, I think, “Well, I do believe I got rid of my last expectations of said person. No WAY I’ll be upset again because of expectations not being met. I expect nothing and will only be happy when they’re around because without any expectations, I can’t be disappointed, right? Right!” and then out of nowhere I’m sad again.
There are some people who will always disappoint… When they’re not surprising you delightfully with unexpected little nuggets of their golden personality.
Still, so sad.
I don’t think it’s healthy to NOT expect anything from anyone. I feel that in doing so, I’m giving up on some sacred hope in humanity that I’m not ready to let go of, just yet. I think that sometimes people should be expected to be steadfast. I feel in not expecting anything of others, that you’re dishonoring them, because, well… I just do.
I feel good when people tell me they know they can rely on me for such and such. I feel good when people come over to my house for dinner and expect a delicious meal. I feel that when someone expects something of you, it’s a good thing, because it shows a strength in character that has already been proven. I would not like to be a blank slate all of the time. I want to play host to other’s expectations of me and sometimes fail, in the knowledge that doing so has given me room to grow.
But if there’s nothing there but room to grow, than what is there, really? A seed that doesn’t start is no good at all. A seed that doesn’t start disintegrates into dirt when planted, all the sunshine and water in the world won’t make a bad seed grow.
My growth may be choppy, I might have stunted in the frost and not borne as much fruit as one would hope… But I still stretch for that sunshine and soak in the rain.
I don’t want to cry over spent seeds anymore, I’d really like to watch my flowers grow.
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