Good Medicine

VROOM!

(This picture is from facebook- it is a leo, like me. I love it so much!)

I feel like the little engine that could, and it's a wonderful feeling.

I've been feeling like the little engine that couldn't, got stuck and fell over in a ditch for a couple months- losing the job was hard, and I had some really difficult problems with people in my life. All the ground ripped right out from under me and I just kept falling until I decided that I wasn't going to wait to hit the bottom this time. NO WAY! I've hit the bottom enough times in my life to know it gets lower and harder every time.

I pulled a super-sci-fi anti-gravity move and stopped, right there in the middle of the air, dug my nails in the wall and caught my breath. Now I've started climbing. It's slow, but it's sure and even if I don't immediately see the light at the top of the hole, I know it's there. I can feel the sunshine on my face, even if my eyes are closed.

It has been 6 whole days since I smoked a single cigarette, I haven't gone that long without one in at least a year. I've been trying without full intent to quit for a couple years now. I still want to smoke when I go out drinking, but I haven't been out drinking in 6 days either. HA!

I am not going to say that I quit smoking, because I have not. I am on the look-out for all those wonderful herbs I've been studying that are actually GOOD for you when you smoke them. No, not the pots. I'm talking about Mullein and Coltsfoot, Red Clover and a huge list I have written down way over there.

I just wanted to say that I've been happy for two weeks now, and that's BIG! and my lungs like me...

WAHOO!

and.... chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chug-a-chooo-chooo!

bliss.giggles.sweetly

Bliss can overflow from one to another

tickling noses and pin-pricking.

Bliss laughs it's way around a room

making giddy little knots all over

that can only ever be giggled,

stretched, hugged or smooched out.

Bliss can lead you astray from dogged

drudgery painting a path in your life.

Bliss waits for no-one and beckons

by tugging your shirt-collar incessantly

pulling toward your inner magnificence,

bright, shiny, and full of dreams.

Bliss wants what's best for the world

and what's best for the earth is you.

bliss knows best and bliss knows true

the deepest and holiest place inside

that beats fiercely for happiness,

comfort, hope and life; follow it.

Russet.smoothie

Life’s been running like a roller-coaster lately; hard, fast, topsy-turvey and steel everywhere. I’m on some sort of Mr. Toad’s wild ride where the turns come so quick, I can’t tell what’s around the bend but it doesn’t stop it from coming… not by a long shot.
I feel as though I’m finally starting to come into my own, like the Universe said, “Well guys, she’s ready. Let’s throw her some LIFE!” and BLAMMO!

It’s been a long time since, I’ve been this happy with my life, my creativity, my friends and this whole crazy nutshell kind of world…
On a side note: I am making smoothies and they are SO incredibly delicious!

A couple of my favorite people, Happy and Maquette are getting married on July 4th; they’re having a Victorian Steampunk wedding… How cool is that? I’m still trying to figure out what in the world I’m going to wear, I’m sure I’ll think of something just right. They are the first of my good friends to get married and I am so excited for them! It’s also (obviously) got all kinds of thoughts swimming around in my head like, “What kind of wedding would I like to have someday?” and “Am I really such a silly girl as all that?”

Turns out, I am. I am just as silly, goofy, romantic, tee-hee-hee as the rest of them. Also bad-ass. Always also bad-ass, but I suppose that doesn’t come out as much when is mushy girlie situations.

I’m going to go eat my delicious lunch now: Hefeweisen pork sausage with grilled onions, sauerkraut, horseradish (I am a good Rusyn girl) and grilled rosemary russet potatoes…. and peach, berry, banana SMOOTHIE!

abundance

written: 01.10.09

Oh! indescribable joy to to him which guides my beating heart,

overflowing my cup with pure, abundant love.

I am overcome by the immensity of this feeling inside that relates to you

Speaks softly in my ear and shouts from the rooftops,

“I love you.”

For my love too, is great as all the saltwater in the earth,

brimming with life and plentiful beyond compare.

I once tried to chop it up and dole it out to many, unprepared

One taste is never enough and none could be satiated with

a broken love.

Looking into you, looking into me I saw a soul deep and willing,

veritable fathoms craving to encompass and return such bliss.

Never before have I met a man who could hold so much as an inch

of this warmth and light which is given unconditionally,

“I love you.”

I stand to willingly weather the brave storms that life will serve,

with a partner as apt, as ready, we could steer those waters.

Let’s float to my little red island swimming in a sea of dreams

to caress our souls openly and stargaze on each other

in bountiful love.